Dating in Beijing: the essentials

I finally got to meet my cousin's boyfriend, the one nobody in my family has met or approves of. You guys are getting an exclusive picture here! What may seem like two young adults dating, there's a lot more going on than just that. Unlike dating anywhere else, dating in Beijing comes with a whole list of requirements. Here's a checklist of essentials to look for in a suitor:
1) Height - is the guy at least 5'8" (considered tall). Height is not a big deal when it comes to girls but it is a problem if she's too tall, like my cousin Zhaojing who is 5'11".
2) Skin color - the paler the better. My cousin's boyfriend's mom said about Chloe, "She may be dark but she's got a good job."
3) Job - the male should have a job that has a promising future in a managerial position. The female should have a stable and "soft" job such has teaching, marketing, or HR.
4) Housing - parents usually buy several apartments so to make their kid more desirable. This is something provided by the parents, rarely the kids.
5) Car - on top of the apartment, parents also like to equip their single kids with cars to appeal to the opposite sex.
6) Parents - what the parents do and their financial situation is a huge factor. Nobody wants the burden of constantly supporting their in-laws. Also, it is considered an honor to have in-laws who are managers, professors, or diplomats.
7) City vs. Non-city - Beijingers prefer to date Beijingers, but non-city kids are very hard-working. Similar to people from small towns who try to make it big in NYC. So, if the non-city suitor is hard-working, the Beijinger will make an exception.
With all that said, if the person is incredibly hot, all of the above can be forgiven. Hahaha.

What Vietnamese women look for in a man

It really is true that grass is greener on the other side. Vietnamese men tend to be on the smaller side due to the hot climate and vegetable-heavy diet (meat is also expensive). So what do Vietnamese women look for? Men with big bellies to show wealth; that they're able to afford to eat a lot of food, especially meat. And as an added bonus, men with glasses are considered extra attractive because glasses show an abundance of knowledge; a well educated man.
With these requirements in mind, the guy pictured above from my tour group should be able to pull some major ass in Vietnam.

Dating in Cambodia

No such thing, or at least there's not really a dating culture. Our tour guide tells us that children marry when their parents feel that they're ready to marry and they decide who they should marry. Children must listen to parents and obey their decision; otherwise, children will be thrown out of the house which is a very shameful thing. The average marrying age in rural areas is 17-22. For city residents, it's usually the late 20s. Kids are encouraged to marry young because they believe in marrying first and then building a life as opposed in most cultures, you build a life first then you have a family.
In the typical household, the husband drops off the wife at work (usually selling merchandise of some sort), then he's off to get coffee with his guy friends to discuss world politics and such.
Women in Cambodia can also marry monks, and it is considered a prestigious match. But monks can elect to leave his family any time to go back to the temple. At this time, it is not considered a divorce. Women are still considered married and can never remarry, even though they may never see their monk husband ever again.

Makes me feel lucky to have the freedom to date, even if I don't make good choices.

Dating in Vietnam

There's this large open grassy area in Ho Chi Minh city full of young couples lying out with their motorcycles close by. A typical date could involve cruising the streets on the guy's motorcycle, lying out, and then getting some coffee at a curbside cafe. Sounds like a perfect date except I would like to end the date with some ice cream!

Dating in Beijing: Being left behind

Similar to the US, Chinese young adults are marrying at an older age than their parents. But at the same time, there is a notion of marrying beyond your prime. The 'prime' being 25 for females. Pictured on the right is my cousin, Chloe. She's 24, beautiful, college-grad, and works as a bank teller that promises a bright future. She's a catch. However, in society's eyes, her clock is ticking and if she doesn't find a suitor this year, her stock drops exponentially with every year above 25. Of course as a woman approaching my 30's, I find this mindset as ridiculous as an anorexic panda. But this is a huge concern among women in their 20's and its coined as "Being left behind.". Last night, I watched a Chinese dating show that was solely for those beyond their prime and thus, left behind. When the host asked one of the female contestants how she felt about being on the show, she (age 33) responded, "It gives me hope that being at my age, there is still a chance for me to marry someone wonderful." No wonder my cousin Chloe feels so pressured to settle down, even if it is with someone not that ideal.

Dating in Beijing: Matchmaking

Unlike in the U.S., where there's apparently "plenty of fish in the sea" for you to choose from, in Beijing, there are only a few fish to choose from.  Matchmaking has been a traditional practice that has survived multiple generations.  Although it is not as formal as it used to be (i.e., arranged marriages), it is still considered the safest and easiest way to find a husband/wife. 
My cousin Chloe (Chen Chen), 25, has been matched 3 times from relatives and family friends.  Couples are usually matched based on age, education, and family background.  Once a match is found, the friend or family member "presents" the suitor's info to the other suitor's family, and vise versa.  If both families agree, then a date is arranged for both parties to meet.  From there, it's up to the couple if they wish to maintain communication through QQ, which is similar to AIM in the U.S. 
Courtships tend to last shorter than in the U.S., couples could decide to get married in as little as 2-4 months.  The length of courtship usually depends on age and parental pressure. 
So back to my cousin Chloe...of the 3, she has continued communication with one.  This is considered her first boyfriend ever and she seems ready to marry him.  However, my family does not approve for various reasons, one being that he has an unstable job at a small company doing import/export.  Because the two of them were matched through a family friend, a lot of gossip has been traveled back and forth between the two families adding more fuel to the fire. 
 
Can you imagine dating like this?!