Final thoughts: China is a prepubescent boy

I think as a result of its size, population and rapid modernization, China has become a very conflicted country similar to a conflicted prepubescent boy. Although some areas are maturing, other areas are still rooted in its old ways. It wants to change but it also wants to hold on to the past. And as a result? Awkward features, contradicting behavior, and major mood swings. Some examples I've observed:

- TRANSPARENCY: Somethings are very transparent about Chinese culture. People leave their clothes out on their balcony to dry, including their undies. They don't mind leaving the bathroom door open and some bathrooms don't even have doors. You know exactly how much your neighbor makes. Kids are publicly ranked in school. You know everybody's business and they surely know yours. But at the same time, there are certain things that are kept very mum and hidden. Government policies. International relations. Politics. Your love life. Sex. Homosexuality. Media (Facebook, Blogger.com, and Youtube are all blocked).
- CUSTOMS: There are certain customs and traditions that are mandatory and looked down upon if you don't perform them. For example, gifting, pouring alcohol for your elders before yourself, and giving and accepting business cards with both hands. But also, Chinese people tend to be disorderly in public. Spitting all over sidewalks. Cutting in lines. Speaking loudly and aggressively. Excess slurping.
- DRINKING: Men are expected to drink A LOT, especially in a business setting. The more you drink, the more respect you gain. But at the same time, if you get drunk, you lose all respect and you're looked down upon. Also, if you drink at bars, you may be considered a crazy drunk.
- MEN: My dad's generation and before tend to be manly men. They're the breadwinners and protect their families. But since the one-child law, parents have spoiled their only children so much that the men my age act like girls. But even girlier than girls. They don't play sports, they're lazy, and they can be whiny. So no wonder that Western media has portrayed Asian men as asexual and inferior.
- SPACE: There's not much need for personal space in China because there's so many people. You stand close to each other. You practically sit on top of each other in crowded subways. You talk close to one another. Girls hold hands with their girlfriends. Guys put arms around their guy friends. BUT, if you're dating someone, you're expected to keep a certain distance from them in public. PDA is still very much looked down upon.
- PEDESTRIANIZATION: Chinese consumers desire exclusive products such as high end luxury items or elite activities. But Chinese marketers also have a way of pedestrianizing these products or activities. For example, ping pong used to be a very exclusive sport only for the rich which in a matter of what seemed like minutes was turned into an activity for everyone in China. Also, the Chinese ability to replicate luxury items has been able to put brand names on everyone in sight. You will find 90-year-old grandmas wearing Nike sneakers, janitors carrying Louis Vuitton fanny packs, and barbers wearing Christian Dior glasses.
- KIDS: My parents' generation went through some major hardship in their youth, with most going to work camps under Mao's regime and then experiencing the cultural revolution. Now with a better political environment, parents want to provide the best for their kids giving them everything they want: toys, food, and money. The result? Super spoiled kids who are accustomed to having everything. But at the same time, parents are frustrated and scold their kids for having no empathy for their hardships; some even send their kids to rural villages to live like the way they used to. It ends up creating a temulchuous relationship within the family.

Bye bye Asia!

I've come to the end of my travels in Asia. On our flight back to the US, we met these Chinese kids who were on their way to Tennessee for the Destination ImagiNation finals. What an interesting non-profit organization dedicated to creative problem solving. And right now, there are kids from all over the world competing in the finals. Check it out at: www.idodio.org.

Dating in Beijing: Homosexuality

It definitely exists but it's not talked about. The older generation still considers it a "disease" or something you can "catch." Homosexuals do not show PDA in public but I've heard of designated areas for them at night. There are many kids who I know are gay, but their parents tend to ignore it and still force them to marry the opposite sex. Needless to say, China does not provide a friendly environment for the GLBT community. However, there has been progress. At least it's a subject that people can talk about now, as opposed to whispered about.
It's kind of ironic for a country that has the earliest documented acts of homosexuality. Emperors were also reported to have young gay lovers by their side.

Send off with dumplings

It's a Chinese tradition to welcome with noodles and send off with dumplings!

Tiantan Park (Temple of Heaven) - also temple of crazy people

Tiantan park is probably the strangest and coolest place I'd ever been to. It's full of recently retired people who want to act out their creative fantasies. You'll find group performances such as singing, sword fighting, massages, salsa dancing, ballroom dancing, harmonica playing and erhu playing. You'll also find individual singers who are looking to make it big because some alumni have been discovered this way.
It's an interesting sight because Chinese citizens have these repressed hobbies that they weren't able to pursue when they were working. And now since they must retire at 50, it's a great opportunity for them to just do whatever they feel like doing, even if they act like fools. Yay!

The Chinese way of gifting

When we attend dinner parties in the US, most of us will bring a bottle of wine or some dessert. But in China, when you go visit someone, you bring the whole supermarket. Case in point, my dad's cousin came to visit my grandparents from villages in Shandong. Not only did she bring bags full of octopus, snails, and clams, she also brought this humongo fish enough to feed a village. The same gifting traditions translate to business relationships too. When visiting a new client, most people will bring the best alcohol or cigarettes on the market, as well as loads of fruit.
Whatever you do, just NEVER show up empty handed.

Inflation up the wazoooo

I know I've already mentioned the high cost of living in Beijing, but I want to give some specific examples. It's mind-blowing. First off, the average college grad earns about 3000-4000 RMB ($400-$600 USD) per month. Now let's take a look at some living expenses.

- Rent for a one-bedroom apartment is about 2800-3000 RMB, which already takes up someone's monthly salary.
- When dining out, the average cost per person is 60 RMB at a mediocre restaurant.
- Starbucks coffee costs 30 RMB.
- Cell phones cost anywhere between 500-3000 RMB. Most have cell phones that are at least 2500 RMB.
- What's considered cheap clothing: 50-100 RMB. Most clothes cost at least 150 RMB in department stores. The upper-middle class will purchase items at the 600-1000 RMB price range.
- Pictured are walnuts (78 RMB/kg) and grapes (17.60 RMB) at an average supermarket.
- Mid-level cars (Hondas, Toyotas) cost from 250,000-350,000 RMB.
- To purchase real estate, a simple one-bedroom apartment can cost up to 2,100,000 RMB!

So can you imagine making $3000/month and spending $30 on coffee and $2500 on a cell phone?! Whoever said China was cheap should take a second look.

Modes of transportation: not all bikes anymore

Pictured is one of the few places where I found lots of bicycles. What used to be the main mode of transportation has now been replaced by cars. It seems that in the past 5 years or so, every household has (or has access to) a car. And what I've noticed more this time around is how many more luxury cars are on the road. The most popular ones are Mercedes and Lexus. It's great that everyone has a car but it poses a major traffic and parking problem. Apartment buildings are not built for parking lots so some will charge an average of 3000 RMB / year for a parking spot. As far as the traffic problem, I'm not sure how and when that'll be resolved. But it is a major problem causing major jams everyday!

Lost in translation: I can also spot passive agressiveness

Nan Luo Gu Xiang hutong

My cousin Chloe and her boyfriend introduced me to a hip little area called Nan Luo Gu Xiang. Its an old hutong converted to a street dedicated to night owls. Plenty of shops, bars and food stands that open only at night and close at around midnight. I found great little shops that offered handmade leather, hip clothing, and even high end 2nd hand purses. The bars were little and quaint and the food stands were creative, such as churros, fancy gelato and cakes (as pictured). The street is very foreigner-friendly. I would HIGHLY recommend this cute little area for anyone visiting Beijing.

Dating in Beijing: the essentials

I finally got to meet my cousin's boyfriend, the one nobody in my family has met or approves of. You guys are getting an exclusive picture here! What may seem like two young adults dating, there's a lot more going on than just that. Unlike dating anywhere else, dating in Beijing comes with a whole list of requirements. Here's a checklist of essentials to look for in a suitor:
1) Height - is the guy at least 5'8" (considered tall). Height is not a big deal when it comes to girls but it is a problem if she's too tall, like my cousin Zhaojing who is 5'11".
2) Skin color - the paler the better. My cousin's boyfriend's mom said about Chloe, "She may be dark but she's got a good job."
3) Job - the male should have a job that has a promising future in a managerial position. The female should have a stable and "soft" job such has teaching, marketing, or HR.
4) Housing - parents usually buy several apartments so to make their kid more desirable. This is something provided by the parents, rarely the kids.
5) Car - on top of the apartment, parents also like to equip their single kids with cars to appeal to the opposite sex.
6) Parents - what the parents do and their financial situation is a huge factor. Nobody wants the burden of constantly supporting their in-laws. Also, it is considered an honor to have in-laws who are managers, professors, or diplomats.
7) City vs. Non-city - Beijingers prefer to date Beijingers, but non-city kids are very hard-working. Similar to people from small towns who try to make it big in NYC. So, if the non-city suitor is hard-working, the Beijinger will make an exception.
With all that said, if the person is incredibly hot, all of the above can be forgiven. Hahaha.

Green tea + black sesame frap @ Starbucks

I like to make fun of tourists who go to Starbucks while in a foreign country but it suddenly dawned on me that the menu may be tailored for each country. My hunch was right as I happily found this new menu item at a Beijing Starbucks: Green tea with black sesame frappucino. At almost $5, it is a hefty price to pay for the locals. Verdict? Worth the try, it's a great combo of ingredients.

Then and now: picture with grandpa and cousin Chloe

Back in Beijing

My cousin Chloe surprised by us by taking the whole family out for dinner at a Xinjiang Muslim restaurant, in the hip Dongsi Hutongs. This place used to be the traditional hutong residences which are now converted into a popular area full of bars, restaurants, and housing for foreigners. However, I was happy to see that they kept the same hutong look. The restaurant was also very delicious. Very lamb-heavy dishes with a variety of spices and flavors similar to Turkish food. I loved every bite of it!

Schools in China - they're not all that strict

I went out to dinner with some friends of my parents who have two kids who are in elementary school. Their son is the same age as my cousin Wendy (12), but their classroom experiences are polar opposites. Their kids go to what's known as International School, comprised of mostly expat's kids. Chinese kids make up barely 10% with the majority being Australian and American. Classes are taught in English and annual tuition lands around $30,000 USD. The day I met them, Wendy was preparing diligently for her midterms while this family's son was preparing a Michael Jackson routine to audition for the school lip-synching performance. The kids at the International School adopt the western educational system where there is rarely any homework or exams, but creativity and imagination are taught and encouraged.
When we asked the parents if their kids could get into any Chinese colleges after graduating from the K-12 International School, the mom replied with a smirk, "No way. They are prepared for universities outside of China, but definitely would not be able to get into any of the domestic colleges.". Just as a side note, Chinese universities are immensely competitive to get into. Some kids may never have good enough grades to get into any college and are confined to manual labor or blue collar work for the rest of their lives.
P.S. This picture has nothing to do with this post but I thought the baby was too cute!

Fashion alert: Animal hats are in!

Well not really but they were really popular in the winter.

Cousins are siblings

Ever since I was little, I lovingly called my cousins 'sister' or 'brother.' Not until I went to the US when I realized that there is no Chinese word for 'cousin.' As an only child, I'm thankful that I've experienced a special bond with my cousins very similar to siblings (I can only assume). Pictured are 1) cousins on my mom's side and 2) cousins on my dad's side.

For shits and giggles

I loved dressing up as a kid, especially in "ancient" wear.

Beijing still green after the '08 Olympics?

I'd say yes, Beijing has kept up its 'going green' efforts. Stores still don't offer plastic bags and cars are restricted from driving one day of the week depending on their license number. The only thing I would say that needs drastic improvement is education on recycling. Although there are recycling bins all over the city, I've seen all kinds of trash in these bins including non-recyclable materials. Also, most families I know only sort out plastic bottles.

Happy Mother's Day

...From my cousin Zhaojing's baby, Carson. He's 1 and a half but is at the weight of a 3 year old. He's also the first of the 4th generation from both sides of my family.